As a kid, how many times did you wonder what you wanted to be when you grew up? Were you sure from the moment you stepped through the doors of your kindergarten class for the first time, or were you like me and still didn't have a clue after white knuckling a high school diploma. I remember that day of having a grim smile plastered on my face while my numb fingers moved the tassel to the other side of the yellow gawky square cap that matched my tacky yellow graduation gown. The cap refused to stay in place, no matter how many bobby pins were tucked in.
Well, that day happened and I had so many interests, how was I supposed to choose where to go to college let alone choose what I wanted to do for the rest of my life? Whether it was being a physicist, neurosurgeon, ballet dancer, attorney, pianist, graphic designer, singer, pastry chef or pet rescuer, I seriously could not decide. I wanted to do it all...yes every single one. So guess what, I procrastinated and ended up completely frustrated, I didn't become any of them.
It took a couple of years (ok, ok twelve to be exact) for a light bulb to click somewhere in this far reaching brain of mine. In a conversation with an awesome friend, she asked a very simple question that no one had ever asked me before.
"What is it that you love to do most?"
Profoundly simple, trust me I know. The question stunned me into silence as it bounced around in my head. I've always been asked, "What are you good at?" Well I'm good at quite a few things but haven't found something that I'm actually head over heels in love with.
It took me all of about two seconds of silence before I gave my good friend an answer. In that moment, I had instantly fallen in love with a forgotten passion and I finally knew what it is I wanted to do...
I want to write.
Writing has been with me my whole life. Ever since the end of my first day of kindergarten when I stepped out of that sunny classroom door, I was bursting through the seams with hope and determination. On the way home, I practically skipped my way off the bus and burned through the rubber soles of my shoes unable to contain my excitement. I was completely enthralled with all of the wonderful things I would soon be learning. I asked my mom to help me write about it.
Through middle school and high school, writing was something I was pretty good at and even managed to win a couple of awards. I pulled out those old plaques and set them on my desk for inspiration. I can't believe how long I've kept them.
Never would I have thought to look for something that I hadn't realized was lost...the determination of a little girl filled with a bright future.
Funny how things work.
Now I get to do something that I absolutely love, and writing is something that I actually have to learn how to get better at. Knowledge is quite fascinating.