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Welcome to my blog! Please join me as I journey towards finding an agent for my first young adult novel. Between writing, endless snapping of photos, sleep deprivation, taking care of two adorable little girls, and oh yes, the laundry, I'm sure it's going to be a bit crazy on the way to the awaited publication.

I'm open to any tips, critique, or random musings about the things I write or the photos I take, so feel free to email me or comment below.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Insecurities

Alright, I'm just going to come out and say it.

I am TOTALLY insecure about my writing. I'm in a love - hate relationship with it and I don't even know if I just used an en dash, em dash or a hyphen between the words love - hate.

I've re-read (there I go again with the dash thingy) my manuscript over and over and each time it gets changed. There are times that I'm tempted to just trash it and start on something completely different and then there are times that I'm completely surprised by how much I love my manuscript.

But I don't know how to stop reading it and analyzing every little thing! Please tell me I'm not the only one who is going through this mind boggling self torment.

Can you guess how I feel about anyone else reading it? Yeah, makes me want to puke just thinking about it. I've heard over and over "Don't take critiques personal, it's not you it's the writing," blah blah blah, but come on. How can I not take it personally when I've invested so much into writing this thing? It scares the crap out of me and I'm scared to even have a real beta reader. I'd love one, but I'm so insecure, I can't hit the send button.

Today I stumbled across an Insecure Writer's Support Group. Author Alex J. Cavanaugh has created a blog to help writers share and encourage each other throughout their insecurities. Sounds like a good plan so I signed up. Hopefully I can bolster enough courage one of these days to actually send my manuscript to some willing victims betas.

So the rules are, every 1st Wednesday of the month is Insecure Writer's Support Group Day. I will have to share some struggles and triumphs and along the way hopefully work through my insecurities.

I'm a bit late for the Wednesday post since today is Friday, but I just found out about it and wanted to let the rest of you know about it too.

So, are you just as insecure as I am? Join the Blog Hop and encourage other aspiring authors with me.

8 comments:

  1. No, you're definitely not alone in this one :-)

    It's a great group isn't it?

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  2. A little late is fine by me! Glad you found the support group.
    It is scary to let someone else read your work. You need to find someone you really trust but who will still give you honest suggestions.
    Sometimes I change scenes and sentences so much, they wind up just how they started. That's when I know I'm over-analyzing!

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  3. I've stopped looking at my MS for now because I do the same things you mentioned. That looks like a group for me!

    BTW- I have nominated you for an award over on my blog! :)

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  4. @Sarah - Yes, a very great group!

    @Alex - I think I'm at that point where all the changes have circled back into what they originally were. I need to step away from the manuscript! :)

    @Jennifer - Wow thanks! I'll go check it out. :)

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  5. Hopefully this gives you the confidence to move forward with your writing. It happens to us all, doubt climbs in and refuses to leave. This group is an awesome idea!

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  6. Ha! I can soooo relate to this! The love-hate...the obsessive reading and revising, always wondering if it's 'there' yet, or am I just wasting my time! And how do you know when it's done? Of course, we know it's not done till it's been read with a critical eye by a trusted beta...yikes...but then how do you even go about finding one? It's a whole lot of anxiety to go through when you're feeling insecure already. I sure have been there. I'm still there in many ways...

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  7. @Heather - I sure hope so. Knowing I'm not the only one who's insecure definitely helps.

    @jbchicoine - The beta process is the part that I'm dragging my feet with!

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  8. I can totally relate to this - you're totally not alone. I'm also terrified to send my stuff to betas, because, as you said, it's really hard not to take what they say personally even though it isn't personal! Good luck - I know you'll find the courage to put your "baby" in a beta's hands! :-)

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